IRRESPECTIVE OF YOUR WEALTH, YOU WILL FACE CHALLENGES - HOW DO YOU REMAIN FULFILLED?
Fulfillment is not about accumulating everything you want at all costs. Fulfilment is using what you have to the best of your ability.
I recently embarked on my regular trip to the Southern Cape to visit my “Southern” clients, many of whom I have known for years and have come to know not only as their trusted advisor but also on a deeply personal level.
I really enjoy my trips to the Southern Cape. The road from Durbanville, passing through small towns on the way to Mossel Bay, George, and Wilderness, is not only high quality, but the mountains, towns, and nature in general are breathtakingly beautiful.
The openness and cleanliness are mesmerising. As the sun rises over the mountains in the early morning, it brings a sense of awe, and, as we say in Afrikaans: “Dit laat jou verlang na mense wie jy nie ken nie” (meaning: It makes you long for people you do not know).
I often wonder, when travelling this route, why I bother travelling to Europe to explore the Alps and other routes by motorcycle, seeing that this is on my doorstep.
The sheer beauty of our mountains and roads doesn’t hold back, and passing through Swellendam from Worcester, I can see a little Switzerland with rolling hills, cattle, and monstrous mountains.
The softness of the sunlight breaking the horizon and the ever-changing colour of the mountains as the sun awakens the land create inner peace and calm. This time of year, the flowering canola fields add to the beauty of the Overberg.
While travelling south with the sun rising on my right, the rolling hills and the different colours of the cultivated farmland on my left, framed by the mountains behind them, instilled a feeling of gratitude. Grateful for what I saw, what I experienced, and where I was – and it was all free.
Money cannot buy serenity. Let me rephrase: you don’t need money to experience serenity. Money also cannot buy you happiness and guaranteed good health. (Some will argue that money can buy you anything).
This statement would become evident again over the next four days through my client interactions.
Do you have ‘helmet time’?
I always refer to my motorcycle trips as my helmet time. It is a time of silence, peace and “flow”, when I allow my surroundings to sink in and merge with everything around me. My trips to the Southern Cape by car are very similar to my helmet time, with winding roads, beauty, peace and quiet.
Do you have “helmet time”? I am not suggesting that you rush out and buy a motorcycle. Your helmet time may be sitting on a rock at the beach, taking a stroll in the park or having your nails done at a salon. You deserve it, and you owe it to yourself.
As I travel towards the Southern Cape, I think about each client I am scheduled to see. I think about their portfolios, their planning, their lives and their challenges. What is different today from when I saw them three or four months ago? What has changed in the last year? What is about to change in the next year? Most of the clients I visit on these trips are retired, and many are at an age that brings a different set of challenges.
When travelling back to Cape Town after my visits, which normally last three or four days, I reflect on my meetings with each client. Without exception, clients face challenges, whether financial, family, health, political, environmental, or anything else that’s top of mind.
Sometimes these challenges are overlooked or ignored (denied?) and must be pointed out by family or outsiders…
Challenges are not static. They change, sometimes quickly, so we need to be prepared. The rate and extent of challenges seem to accelerate with age, and they can sometimes be life-changing. Fortunately, not all challenges are bad.
I would like to highlight a few challenges identified during my most recent trip. Many readers will be able to identify with one or more of the challenges mentioned. Maybe it is not related to themselves, but rather a close family member or friend.
The question is, how are you dealing with your challenges?
Fortunately, all the clients I visited are financially secure, and unless something goes drastically wrong, they will all be able to leave a legacy to remember. Importantly, not only for the wealth they have accumulated, but for the people they are.
Money, or the lack of it, is not a major concern for these clients unless something goes seriously wrong.
Lessons from my clients:
1. Consider these scenarios
One of my visits was to clients whom I consult with as a couple. I have dealt with the husband since 2004, and his wife became a client when he retired some ten years ago. They tragically lost their only child in an accident when she was still young.
They are deeply rooted in their community and eagerly support those in need. Now in their mid-70s, they still mountain bike, regularly hike in the mountains and walk along the beach and, weather permitting, boogie-board.
They love the outdoors and, although they can afford it, never travel abroad. Most of what they do is free or low-cost. Their quality of life and the peace they live in are second to none.
During our meeting, they proudly announced that they are now the proud foster grandparents of six foster children – two more than previously.
What challenges do they have? You may ask. Their estate planning has become more complicated. Making inheritance provisions for children in foster care does require some careful thought.
The same challenge faces parents of children with special needs, who may have difficulty caring for themselves in the future.
Planning must address how to protect them both financially and physically.
A point of concern is how the surviving spouse will cope when the other partner passes away. They still live alone in their beautiful home and have no plans to move to a retirement home. Losing someone you love, with whom you have spent your life, while living in a close-knit community like a retirement village can be a bit easier than living in semi-isolation.
The same scenario applies when one of the partners becomes frail, or their health deteriorates to the point where they can no longer care for themselves. The first reaction is that the healthy partner will become the carer.
This is a noble offer; however, the strain placed on the healthy partner is neither fair nor sustainable. A more sustainable solution is necessary.
Another concern is that there is no guarantee the healthy partner will remain healthy in the future, which could double the problem if their health deteriorates.
Unfortunately, this scenario is more common than most people realise, and most of us will face it at some point as we age.
2. Planning for dementia
My other visit was to aged clients residing in a retirement home. I have two clients in the same retirement home, and their challenges are not dissimilar. The main difference is that one couple are in their late 70s and the other is widowed and in her late 80s. The following challenges were clear:
In both scenarios, dementia is starting to set in. With every visit, the symptoms are becoming clearer.
In both cases, high care or frail care is becoming inevitable in the not-too-distant future. Both clients are resisting the move. Family members are becoming anxious due to the unavailability of frail care units.
Due to the two ladies’ cognitive decline, they can no longer drive, and their families have sold their vehicles. This has become the biggest challenge in both cases. The loss of freedom to travel and independence weighs heavily on them.
Both ladies have also begun to lose their “money savviness”. Family members cannot trace spending patterns, and funds cannot be accounted for. Where elderly people live in a retirement home, care must be taken to ensure they are not subjected to financial abuse. This also strains the rest of the family.
Financial abuse often occurs within families, where children and grandchildren take advantage of frail parents and grandparents. Dementia impairs the ability to make rational decisions.
Asking a parent or grandparent with dementia for an unreasonable amount of money does not make it right (or legal) if they agree. The same applies when you take advantage of assets, such as moving into a deceased person’s home and not paying your way.
3. When you can no longer drive
Then I visited a client I have been dealing with since 1998. She is 88 years old and an inspiration to others. She also has a few ailments common at her age, but she is headstrong and determined to carry on living.
Her mind is sharp. She gardens, walks on the beach, talks politics, and hosts people in their spare cottage on the lagoon. Although she “suspects” that she suffers from blackouts every now and then, she is adamant about buying a new electric car.
Her life partner says she is quite a feisty driver, and she has no intention of hanging up her keys. Herein lies the problem. At some point, she will have to hand over her keys (good luck to the one who makes that call).
We must all accept that the time will come when we can no longer do the things we are used to.
This is especially important when those activities put the lives of others and ourselves in danger. Driving is one of those activities.
Our challenge is to decide when to stop before others tell us the time has come. Do we set an age limit? Do we say we will keep driving until we are involved in a serious accident? Do we tie it to a health event, such as loss of sight, dementia, or deteriorating coordination?
Give it some thought. Not only for driving, but also for long-distance travel, moving to a retirement home, challenging hikes and walks, cycling (or motorcycling), climbing a ladder, boogie boarding.
Decide what the trigger is for stopping challenging tasks and activities that can become harmful. Once you decide on the trigger, don’t change the goalposts.
4. The honeymoon phase of retirement
The other clients that I visited are somewhat younger and either recently entered the honeymoon phase of retirement or were entering the final phase of work life before retirement.
Interestingly, some of their challenges include how to handle parents with some of the above-mentioned challenges.
Other concerns included whether their wealth would support their lifestyle and how to support children who were no longer in school but were entering professional careers and considering marriage. Children emigrating was also a point of discussion.
We often focus on the ailments of the elderly but seldom acknowledge that health challenges begin to rise after age 50. Most of the clients I visited during this trip have experienced, or still experience, serious health challenges.
It is enlightening to see how they face these challenges head-on. Just as one must accept that lifestyle adjustments are necessary and that some activities will no longer be possible beyond a certain point, one must also accept that adjustments are required after a serious health setback.
Maybe it is a good idea to run for the fun of it rather than for the physical challenge. Chances are you will not be able to run your personal best time for a marathon at age 65. Maybe you should rather focus on the environment around you while running. You will be surprised what beauty surrounds us.
On my drive back, I thought about the challenges not only my “southern” clients face, but also those all our clients and their families face. The solution is not easy, and I don’t think anyone has a single answer.
Every person is unique, and all families have different dynamics, but one thing is clear. As we age, we cannot face the challenges on our own. We need to build a support structure long before an ailment sets in.
The structure is up to you and can include family, friends, your adviser and your community.
You have worked hard to achieve your financial goals. Now allow yourself the freedom to enjoy your wealth, however significant or modest it may be. I hope I illustrated in a simple way that enjoying your wealth does not have to cost you a fortune.
Go for a walk, listen to the birds and watch the sunset. Leave your phone at home, forget about chores, and set your worries aside, even if it is only for an hour or two. You may just be surprised at what awaits you.
